COVID crazy


So my mother, like many of us, is chomping at the bit to have this COVID-19 thing done with.

That's exactly what she calls it: this "thing." As in, "Are we still going to have my birthday with this thing going on?"

I'm not sure what to tell her. Turning 85 should be a big deal, but can it be with "this thing" going on?

"Speed it up!"/NPR.org
I can only put her off for so long. Meanwhile, we talk about how she gets through the COVID days, living alone in  her apartment, in a routine that, as with the rest of us, feels like the plot of "Groundhog Day." All I can say is thank you Lucy, with a nod to "The Waltons."

The latter show reminds her of visiting her grandmother's farm in Paulsboro, New Jersey. I can see that, but "The Waltons" still looks pretty dated.

Not so Lucy, whose comic genious has remained fresh for the 69 years since "I Love Lucy" premiered. It is said more people have seen her photo -- in one of her wacky Lucy Ricardo incarnations -- than any other human. There's something about her brand of slapstick that doesn't get old. We're not talking "Here's Lucy" or "The Lucy Show," the two series Ball did after "I Love Lucy." I love her to death, but those don't compare.

And so my mother, who wakes at 5:30 a.m. as routinely as a boot camp Marine, has a light breakfast, checks her sugar and settles on the couch for her shows. She is used to being busier, but that's just the way it is with "this thing." So our nightly recaps of her day almost always veer into Lucy territory.

"Guess which one I watched this morning?" she will ask, and in the familiar "I Love Lucy" shorthand, she will describe the day's episode.

"Remember the one where she stomped the grapes?"

 "How 'bout when she and Ethel worked at the chocolate factory?"

"Remember when she lit her fake nose on fire?"

Naturally when she talks about the Vitametavegamin episode, she will mispronounce the name of the boozy concoction Lucy was supposed to sell during a TV commercial. Everyone does that, not just the mistress of the malaprop.

"Are you run down, listless? Do you pop out at parties? Or, as the alcohol kicks in, "Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?"

One wonders what Lucy Ricardo might have done during "this thing." Social distancing from Ethel? Livestreaming her ballet moves?

Ballet teacher: "Let us go to the barre."

Lucy: "Oh good, cause I'm awful thirsty."

Thank you Lucille Ball, for making "this thing" bearable. We'll be watching even after the Cova, as Regina recently called it, is past. 



     


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