Dr. Do-little

One of the more insulting things about being in your 60s is that you suddenly find your age referenced in tedious, talky TV ads.

I don't have mesothelioma. I don't need Colonial Penn life insurance or a new Jacuzzi shower. I've never been to Camp Lejeune. I'm don't need to hear from Tom Selleck (or Selnick, as my mom calls him) about a reverse mortgage. 

But the now inclusive phrase "If you're 60 or older" - one I could ignore a decade ago while still in my 50s -  gives me pause, mainly because that decade went by faster than the average bobsled race. 

But I won't give in to despair - or age. I long ago decided I wasn't going to pursue an AARP membership, no matter the benefits. I refuse to allow the gray that seeps from my hair roots to show. I wear a lot of black in an attempt to hide the skin just above my knees that now has fold lines and the flesh under my arms that hangs like a deflated balloon.

(I will admit to senior-hood when I can pay $9 for a movie rather than the average $14. My mother has been claiming that for decades; she started in her 50s.) 

Mom doesn't always care to be reminded she's going on 89, unless it comes with effusive praise that no way does she look that age. She doesn't understand where all the years went either. Yet when it comes to her health, she insists on doctor visits and lab work she no longer needs.

My siblings and I have explained numerous times that she no longer needs mammograms or Pap tests. She doesn't have to fret over a call from the MD that she's due for blood work or that her sugar is a little high. ("I don't want to have to give myself nicotine," she said. (She meant insulin.) She doesn't need to get another shingles vaccine.

But while she listens to our thoughts on medical care, I think she feels a certain relief at having a doctor say, "You're really in good health. You don't need to be here," before he or she bills Medicare for yet another office visit mom didn't need. 

Recently, I took her to a doctor who told her she has kidney disease, because one of hers is smaller than the other and could have been that way since birth. But even he said she could go on her merry way and not worry it will cause her any health issues. The word "disease" did gave her pause - then we went to lunch.

Once at home in her apartment, she wanted to know if she could get Lulu on her un-smart TV; she meant Hulu. And no, she can't, because she will not pay a penny more for cable than the amount that gives her not much more than 3, 6 and 10, Decades and the Catholic channel.

Still, lucky for us, she doesn't need  Colonial Penn life insurance either.



www.aarp.org

    





 


       

    



   






          



   






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