The birthday pageant

 

It takes a village to raise a child, Hillary Clinton once wrote, appropriating an old proverb thought to have African origins. 

Here's a twist on that: It takes a village to praise a 90-year-old. Especially when that nonagenarian  believes in her own specialness. "I think I'm entitled to a party, aren't I? she asked recently. "It's not every day you turn 90." 

Let's face it: By the time you're a nonagenarian, you have a accrued a good number of relatives and friends. So my siblings and I threw a surprise party for mom with about 35 of them. Despite her own suggestion of a party, she walked in the door not entirely shocked but a little intimidated by the crowd that met her angling for hugs and "look here" photos.

As is her nature, she greeted guests wearing a gold sash with the number 90 on it. She sashayed around like a senior beauty pageant winner.     

Two days later, she couldn't wait to tell me about some of her gifts: a Bette Davis coffee mug. A painting of a long-gone uncle who died the year she was born. And cards - lots of cards, two of which she read to me over the phone. 

"I had no idea people liked me that much," said the best mother, grandmother, aunt and friend in the world.  

I've always said my mother could work a room - even at a funeral. While she belongs to the Silent  Generation - whose members were born between 1926 and 1945 - anyone who knows her knows she has no business being in that group.

So as mom chatted with her guests, there was no shortage of conversation and compliments. 

"You certainly don't look 90." (She ate that one up)

"I can't believe you're 90!" (She can't either)

"You must have good genes." (She does: Her three siblings - at 89, 83 and 82 - don't look their ages  either.)

At one point, she briefly turned to politics and cultural topics that have caught her attention and provoked responses the likes of which I never heard growing up. "I was too busy raising you kids," she'll reason after I ask her why JFK was the last president she voted for until Kamala Harris.

So she's wading into previously uncharted territory, helped by the ladies of "The View" - which she watches faithfully - and the 6:30 news with David Muir. Then come the questions.  

"Do you think that 'Dickie' is going to jail? she asked. (She meant Sean "Diddy" Combs.)

"What does LBJ mean?" (The question was really about the LGBTQ community and not the late president.)

"I think this new pope from Perdue is going to be a good one." (Um, Peru.) 

So, mom doesn't always get it right, but she is paying attention. At 90, there's a lot to catch up on.

    

 


 



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