Count the cliches
When your mother makes mincemeat out of the English language, you learn to expect lessons in life that are rather, shall we say, questionable.
She once told me, when I was working full time and mothering my sons, that I had too many platters on my plate. (Translation: You have too much on your plate.)
Describing a rather freewheeling neighbor in the adult community where she and my dad once lived, she told me the woman would never be married because, "Why buy the cow when you can get the beef for free? (Translation: Milk, mom. Milk for free.)
She once referred to a friend of mine who was a former geologist as a doctor who treats women's problems.
But she makes a lot of sense, once she makes sense. And there's a history here. My mom's maternal grandmother used to ask for the television to be turned on at 7 p.m. Sunday nights to "60/60."
My paternal grandmother had a cousin who was being attended to by a gynecologist. The doctor asked if she had ever had a Pap smear. She replied, "What? I don't drink Pabst beer!"
My mother loves that story.
Back to life lessons: I made the best decision of my life because of my mother's prodding. On my 30th birthday, I was meeting someone on a blind date. Earlier in the day, I complained to my mother that I was having second thoughts. "Just go," she said. "You never know what can happen."
I ended up marrying my date. Turns out some people do buy the cow.
She once told me, when I was working full time and mothering my sons, that I had too many platters on my plate. (Translation: You have too much on your plate.)
Describing a rather freewheeling neighbor in the adult community where she and my dad once lived, she told me the woman would never be married because, "Why buy the cow when you can get the beef for free? (Translation: Milk, mom. Milk for free.)
She once referred to a friend of mine who was a former geologist as a doctor who treats women's problems.
But she makes a lot of sense, once she makes sense. And there's a history here. My mom's maternal grandmother used to ask for the television to be turned on at 7 p.m. Sunday nights to "60/60."
My paternal grandmother had a cousin who was being attended to by a gynecologist. The doctor asked if she had ever had a Pap smear. She replied, "What? I don't drink Pabst beer!"
My mother loves that story.
Back to life lessons: I made the best decision of my life because of my mother's prodding. On my 30th birthday, I was meeting someone on a blind date. Earlier in the day, I complained to my mother that I was having second thoughts. "Just go," she said. "You never know what can happen."
I ended up marrying my date. Turns out some people do buy the cow.
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